I am a big asian girl. I always have been and always will be. It used to make me feel like an outsider. Why would eating the same amount of rice affect my body more than the rest of my well known petite population? What genetically was wrong with me? I know I am not the only big asian girl in this vast world but when you read my words, you too have felt a sense of loneliness. Your parents pick you apart, your relatives rip you to shreds, and your friends overcompensate about your shortcomings. You will either choose one of two paths. You will loathe yourself or toughen up. Ok I am wrong. You will switch between both attitudes. Today I learned in a short conversation with this beautiful petite asian at the gym who claims she doesn’t eat all day, that we have no idea about nutrition as an ethnic community. We eat and pace our meals on how deeply embedded it is into our culture rather than accounting for the vastness of foods. Our intake can empower us for the strength, agility, and energy necessary for daily growth. In our adult lives, we think we stop growing after we reach our maximum HEIGHT capacity in our late teens and twenties. But we lose consciousness of our growth in WIDTH over the course of our 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, and beyond. So now when I reflect on my growth as a person and an outsider asian woman, I cannot be mad that God perhaps challenges my body by granting me something untapped in myself.
And today, I am okay with that because tomorrow I plan on growing.